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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Don't Be A Pathetic Loser Your Whole Life - Learn How To Gain Muscle Here

By The Buff Jerk

Hello Loser! You're probably reading this article now because you're living the second class life of a scrawny twig. Am I right? Of course I am! You wound up on this webpage, didn't you?!

I know you've been searching online for a while now, looking for some sort of special 'secret' to gain muscle. Well, I can tell you now, that there are no secrets or quick fixes to doing it. However, there are two very common, well known strategies that you can follow to gaining muscle. Are you ready for them?... Okay... To gain muscle, you have to eat right... and lift weights. Thats it!

First of all, let's get a few things straight. If you met me, you probably wouldn't like me. I'm obnoxious. I'm rude. And I'm a jerk. But I Don't care! I can score chicks in my sleep with a body like mine. So do you really think I value your opinion? Hell NO!

I do have vast knowledge on gaining muscle. It's part of my job. And after all, that's why my body's so beautiful! So I might as well point a few scrawny twerps like you in the right direction while I've got nothing to do.

When I was starting out on my own muscle gaining goals, I searched and read through the internet a hell of a lot, and now, I can personally tell you that there is a lot of BS online on how to gain muscle. Lots of different companies trying to sell you lots of useless supplements, pills and powders, and lots of idiots trying to pan off some lame ass body building program that they must have found on the back of some advertising leaflet they picked up at their gym.

Let me fill you in on the so called 'secret' you've been waiting to hear. If you want to REALLY learn how to gain muscle, then you're going to have to fork out a few dollars on... not supplements... not a personal trainer... but a proper self tailored muscle gain program. Now I'm not talking about breaking the bank here. You can get top quality gain muscle programs online for about the price of a tub of protein or less.

Now, bear in mind that some of the programs out there are pretty lame and don't give you quite enough information that you'd need to properly and quickly gain muscle. So do some research and don't get scammed!

A top program will give you info on what you need to know, including:-

* What you need to eat

* Times to eat

* What foods you should ONLY eat and why

* The foods to avoid

* Training regimes in the gym

* How many times you'll need to train per week

* How long each training session should be

* Correct exercises for each muscle group and the correct form to perform them in

* The things you shouldn't do in the gym

* Important roles of hormones that help you gain muscle

* How to manipulate hormones to help you gain muscle quicker (such as testosterone and growth hormone)

* The best times and ways to rest when bulking up

I could sit here all day and night as the list goes on forever...

Anyway, like I was saying before... Instead of hitting the gym and doing what you're friends tell you to do, or what you've read online, spend a few bucks on getting professional information and you'll not go wrong.

How many weird supplements, tubs of protein and monthly gym memberships have you paid for so far? And how much success have you had? I'm gonna guess little or none! So quit being a whiney loser and tackle the problem from the source. Get yourself a proper 1 2 3 guide on what to do to gain muscle. Or you can just stay a skinny twerp forever - it really doesn't bother me!

Later loser! - 17268

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